Mindless gibberish of a tired mind

Monday, July 06, 2009

The Point System

In the world of romance, one single rule applies ... 'Make the woman happy' ..... Do something she likes and you get points.... Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. ......You don't get any points for doing something she expects... Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the point system..........

Simple Duties:

You make the bed...................................................+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows..........0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets........................-1
You leave the toilet seat up.......................................-5
You replace the toilet-paper roll when it's empty...................0
When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex........-1
When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom..-2
You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty liners with wings.....+5
But return with beer ..............................................-5
You check out a suspicious noise at night ..........................0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing...................0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's something................+5
You pummel it with a six iron.....................................+10
It's her father...................................................-10

Social Engagements:

You stay by her side the entire party..........................0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy........................................-2
Named Tiffany.................................................-4
Tiffany is a dancer...........................................-6
Tiffany has implants..........................................-8

Her Birthday:

You take her out to dinner..................................0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar ......+1
Okay, it is a sports bar...................................-2
And it's all-you-can-eat night.............................-3
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team..............-10

A Night Out With The Boys:

Go out with a pal .........................................-5
And the pal is happily married ............................-4
Or frighteningly single ...................................-7
And he drives a Mustang...................................-10
With a personalized license plate (GR8 N BED) ............-15

A Night Out:

You take her to a movie.........................................+2
You take her to a movie she likes...............................+4
You take her to a movie you hate................................+6
You take her to a movie you like................................-2
It's called Death Cop 3.........................................-3
Which features cyborgs having sex...............................-9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans .........-15

Your Physique:

You develop a noticeable potbelly...............................-15
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it.....+10
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts...........................................-30
You say 'I don't give a damn because you have one too'.........-800

The Big Question:

She asks, 'Do I look fat?' .......................................-5
You hesitate in responding......................................-100
You reply, 'Where?'.............................................-350
Communication:

When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression ................................0
When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes..........+5
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV...+10
She realizes this is because you've fallen asleep...............-20

Taken from www.blap.com

- posted by J @ 13:50

Monday, June 08, 2009

Is council tax legal or beyond.

Is council tax a legal binding agreement?

The simple answer for me is yes! But what level does this agreement reach.

If I was not to pay my council tax I would be taken to court and eventually fined or worse imprisoned. What extent does this go to for the tax payer?
Now there are some questions that I have tried to answer but after trying to wade through the mountains of legalese I am still none the wiser, So am putting it out there to brains bigger than mine to try and answer some questions.

This is a bit of a two part er and the rest I shall write later as some of the answers may throw up other questions.

1. Is Council tax a legally binding contract between Home owner/occupier and the council or is it a pure government tax?

2. In the case it is a contract (payment for services by home owner to council) is it a similar form of contract to that of your Gas bill for instance or a one sided tax?.

3. What are the service agreements that go along with that contract i.e. Do we the tax payer have the right to deny or object to funds being spent on certain services.

4. In the case of non payment you can be taken to court but what is the extent of more civil fines i.e. Not cutting back your overhanging bush, not sorting your recycling or dog fouling.

5. Is there any form of Terms and conditions for council tax, a sort of "we will do this with your money" or is it just taken as red that the council can spend it as they like.

6. What recourse does the tax payer have over civil fines and can the Tax payer levy fines against the council for non fulfilment of services.

There you go, Bit of a mixed bag. There is a reason for this which will become apparent in my next post but for now i just want to see what answers come up.

- posted by J @ 08:45

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Consumer pull

What is it about the urge to buy?

The two stores that i have found the most interesting are Camping shops and Stationers. There is something about them, Whenever i enter one i have the urge to buy something.

It is most bizarre even if i don't eventually reach into my pocket for the cash i still have the pit of the stomach feeling that i need a new pen or a set of hand warmers. I have talked to other people about this and these two types of retailers seem to have the strangest effect on people.

Take stationary for instance how many times in the last 6 months have any of you used post it notes? not many i bet! but i suspect you have at least one of two unopened packets tucked away in a drawer somewhere alongside that claw instrument used to pull out staples and the pack of highlighters that have dried out through lack of use.

Camping shops are the same (although to a smaller percentage of people) in a cupboard somewhere you will have:

1 Emergency glow stick for that hiking trip to the top of Snowdownia you are never going to take.
1 pack of hand warmers Just in case you get stuck in Arctic conditions on your trip to Ilfracombe.

but the next time you go to a camping shop for something really basic for the 2 day trip to Tenby you will find yourself compelled to purchase the most bizarre things. Emergency sheets, survival bags, Waterproof matches and all the things need for a trip into the Andes.

What is this strange compulsion that comes over us? I have never felt it in any other shop including my beloved Bastian's of tech.

Your thoughts?

- posted by J @ 18:22

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Mutant Chronicals Review

Finally a film worth reviewing.

In truth this film took me a little by surprise, the cast is a bit of a mish mash from John Malkovich as the ailing corporation boss, Sean Pertwee (Dogboys) and Ron Perlman (Hellboy) to The stunning Devon Aoki (DOA, Sin City) as the single mum solider with 65 kills under her belt.

What makes this film stand out is that it is all filmed in the steam punk genre and done really well. The story does thankfully stand up to minor assessment and therefore let you get on with looking at the scenery which is very pretty.

The script seems to give the actors something to work with there are a couple of slight cringeworthy moments but for the main there is enough to keep you engaged.

Personally I love the effects. The right amount of clunkiness and grime coupled with some great concepts of weapons etc..

My personal recommendation is that this is a great film with a lot going for it and one I will be adding to my collection asap.

(Next review The City of Ember)

- posted by J @ 12:28

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

I want this guys living room