Things.
1 Thing you would buy if money were no object.
1. Microsoft.

2 Places you would like to go.
1. Iceland
2. Japan

3 Jobs you would like to have.
1. Games tester for Nintendo
2. Spook
3. Formula 1 driver

4 Things you have never tried
1. Bungee jumping
2. Skiing
3. Absinthe
4. Building a life size Eiffel tower out of dairy lee triangles.

5 dessert island disks.
1. The best of Van Morrison.
2. Nina Simone's greatest hits.
3. Back in black - AC/DC.
4. Are you experienced - Jimi Hendrix.
5. Big calm - Morcheeba

Let me know if you do your own I would like to see them..
- posted by J @ 19:18

 
50 things about me

1. I'm male, This may come as a bit of a shock to some of you but it is true.
2. I hate soup.
3. No! I really hate soup.
4. I have never broken a bone in my body only fractured my arm.
5. I watch a lot of films.
6. Way to many really.
7. I smoke to much.
8. I rarely drink.
9. I never touch chemical recreational drugs.
10. I do enjoy natures own occasionally.
11. I am proud of my Cornish heritage.
12. I hate football.
13. I would rather eat soup.
14. God footballs boring.
15. More rugby that's what I say.
16. I like rampant sex with 4...... oops wrong list.
17. I once got my ass frozen to a park bench while having sex (Long story).
18. 72 hours is the longest I have gone without sleep.
19. It was really trippy.
20. I keep my hair short because if I don't I start to look like Ulysses.
21. I did have my hair long once (My rock phase).
22. I keep a photo to remind me never to do it again.
23. It looked awful.
24. All lank and horrid.
25. And with wraps even worse (don't ask).
26. I believe life is to short for regrets.
27. Remorse and learning from mistakes yes.
28. Regrets, no.
29. Apart from my family friends are the most important to me.
30. Compassion, Loyalty and honor are very important to me.
31. I respect people who have strong views and are willing to defend them but are also willing to accept the beliefs of others.
32. I'm a pacifist.
33. Not a coward, a pacifist there's a difference.
34. At Christmas I turn into a 5 year old.
35. And birthdays.
36. Which I always forget.
37. Except vics.
38. I would be a dead man if I did.
39. My favorite rock track is "Sweet child of mine" by GnR.
40. I have no fear of death.
41. Or of dying.
42. Black is my favorite colour.
43. I never wear trainers only boots.
44. I collect 2000Ad (sad I know).
45. The only film I have ever walked out of is "Battlefield earth".
46. God it was shit.
47. Not shit, Really shit.
48. No! Really, Really shit.
49. What were they thinking.
50. If your still reading, Well done you made it to the end.

Idea from Ms. Mac.

- posted by J @ 17:25

 
Money.
"The Great spirit, When he made the earth, never intended that it should be made merchandise."
Sosehawa, Seneca Indian
- posted by J @ 16:16

 
Liberty.
"The sound is fading away...
Freedom:
The sound is fading away."
Chippewa song.
- posted by J @ 23:16

 
Internet trawl.
Just a couple today.

1. How to dump your girlfriend/boyfriend. A Translation if you don't speak Dutch.
2. Yep Jlo does this to me as well.
3. And Bonehead of the day.
4. I got get some of these little critters.
5. Okay this one hurts (Semi WF)
6. For the thrash metal lover.
7. Not sure what this is about, click around.

More soon.
- posted by J @ 17:14

 
Life.
"An Indian tribe is sovereign to the extent that the US permits it to be sovereign"
Federal district judge Russell smith 1973
- posted by J @ 17:15

 
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
The question on my lips and possibly some others is, where the hell is Kel? She seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth. Her blog is still active but she hasn't posted since new year and I'm a little worried, I was considering emailing her but before I did I thought I would see if any of you out there had any insight into here whereabouts.
- posted by J @ 17:13

 
Discovery of a new land.
"Away back in that time - in 1492 - There was a man by the name of Columbus came from across the great ocean, and he discovered the country for the white man... What did he find when he first arrived here? Did he find a white man standing on the continent then?...
I stood here first, and Columbus first discovered me."
Chitto Harjo, Creek Indian.
- posted by J @ 23:14

 
Coming soon.
Yep I am currently in the process of doing up another crossword and will post it asap so keep your eyes peeled.

*Cue groaning from several sources.

Also over the coming weeks there are going to be some changes taking place on my blog so keep watching.
- posted by J @ 23:12

 
5 things I don't understand.
1. Oranges at half time of football matches, Do they give some weird energy kick to footballers that the rest of us don't know about.
2. Busses never having any change, The rest of the retail and service would always manage it so why not busses.
3. And then getting pissy when you ask for change, I don't care, you are providing a service if you are unable to provide that service that's your problem.
4. People who press the button at zebra crossings when the "wait" light is already lit, It wont make the lights change any faster.
5. People who cant understand Flat pack instructions, They really are not that difficult.

Okay let the barrage begin.
- posted by J @ 23:11

 
My week.
My week.

The end of a long week, Thank god.

The Bacchie finished last Saturday eve, the seats were taken out of the stalls and construction started on the Trilite legs and rig bar, the goal posts in the gallery and tramping around with all the kit. Got home at about 5am Sunday morning, after a couple of hours sleep it was back into work (2pm) to carry on fitting up, Rigging bars, Running a shit load of cable and finally finishing at 6pm. 9am Monday morning we were in to finish off and start focusing until the evening (7pm) when we started replacing all the Trilite legs with scaff (The director decided he didn't like it as was, Git!) Well the set is in, tech week is finished (They did a dress rehearsal Friday afternoon and we had the first preview on Friday eve) and I'm knackered.

But I have now had the weekend off and a time for a little relaxation (yeah right) Including sorting the spare room (because it is a shit tip and if I don't rob will be sleeping in the cat bed), packing more boxes, Looking after a child and mother both with colds (maybe I should change the site name to World of snot) and trying to get some outside jobs sorted.

Can I stay at work please.
- posted by J @ 23:08

 
Liar, Liar pants on fire.
From a very young age we are taught that lying is wrong, yet we all still do it (Sorry I'm late traffic was awful, That's never happened to me before etc). We men however seem to lie more to our partners than at any other time, I'm not talking about serious lies like infidelity and that sort of stuff, I'm talking about the little things that promote a harmonious life.

I often wonder if you women realize some of the lengths that we go to in order to avoid an argument. Well I thought I would spill a few beans in order to promote a little understanding between sexes. Now obviously these are all from a blokes point of view so please don't shout at me, Having said that I will be happy to post views from you ladies as well.

So here we go:
Question: Does this dress make me look fat?
Answer: No of course not.
Truthful: Well yes it makes your bum and your tummy look big why don't you buy the red one that made you look stunning..
What she hears: You look like the hindenburg.
Outcome: Your sleeping on the sofa.

Question: Do you think she's attractive?
Answer: No I don't find her attractive or Not as attractive as you.
Truthful: Yes I think she is very attractive.
What she hears: You look like the hindenburg and twice as ugly.
Outcome: Further 3 hours of questions like, What do you find attractive, Do you think she has a better body than mine and would you sleep with her if you were single (The answers of which are not a lot, no and no. The last one is very important guys don’t ever say yes because if you do your on your own). Followed by an hour of silence and the high possibility of an argument that you will see coming a mile off. You may also end up sleeping on the sofa.

Question: Do you like my hair? (Usually after a trip to the salon which you have failed to notice, Note to the ladies: Unfortunately most men really don't notice things that happen everyday to millions of people. New shoes, new hairdos, another manicure etc. This isn't because we don't care, it is just that it happens all the time to men and we don't feel we need to commend the fact that someone has been to the hairdresser. Had it been combined with a complete makeover, new dress and evening out we would notice and comment accordingly. Note to the men: If you didn't comment, well you deserve to be single.)
Answer: Yes it looks lovely.
Truthful: It's alright, No why didn't you leave it alone, I cant see any different from this morning or yes.
What she hears: You look like the hindenburg, twice as ugly with a toupe.
Outcome: Usually an argument about how little interest you take in her, And possibly ending in an uncomfortable night on the sofa.

Ok this is only three examples but as you can see Sometime it seems that lying is not a bad thing in fact quite the opposite it can lead to a happier life.
- posted by J @ 22:59

 
Conversations from the green room.
1. Who's Fucking idea was it to use Trilite in the first place (will explain later)
2. Was the suicide bombing in Syria a CIA plot to give the US an excuse to invade yet another
country as Syria has no history of suicide bombing.
3. Why England deserved to loose to Wales as we were playing shit (rugby).
4. Whose M&M's are these, can I have some.
5. How can we make this arrow glow
6. Why have two large rolls of carpet appeared out side stagedoor and no one seems to know who there for.
- posted by J @ 22:00

 
Party time
I was reading an interesting article in the paper the other day about a paper that has been released on cannabis use. The article said that to be classified as a cannabis addict you would be needing to smoke 350 joints a day.

350.

That's 50 a day or more to the point 1 every half hour every 24 hour period, so allowing for 8 hours sleep that means you will have to roll up, and smoke 1.56 joints every half hour.

I'm sorry but this strikes me as a little impossible but it did lead me to do a little research. I decided to find the LD50 for cannabis (for those who don't know the LD50 is The dosage sufficient to kill half of the organisms tested) and I found a startling result. For orally ingested THECA (the chemical that gets you high) the grading is approximately 1 g/kg of body weight. Simply interpreted, this means an average sized human would have to consume 50-100 g of pure THECA to reach the LD50 level. Since high-potency Cannabis contains approximately 10% THECA, a person would have to eat (not smoke) at least 500-1,000 g of this marijuana before having a 50% chance of death.

500-1000g that is equivalent to eating a block of hash the size of a average bag of sugar and your chances of survival are still 50/50.

For alcohol the basic working is this.
For a 100 lb. man or woman drinking very quickly, it would only require about 8-10 drinks in an hour to reach the lethal level. Hard but not impossible you would probably end up passing out before ever reaching the ld50.

So who's up for a little field study?
- posted by J @ 23:33

 
Git.
What bastard invented Green and black's dark chocolate coated butter biscuits. I'm going to be a house
- posted by J @ 22:50

 
Baby it's cold outside.
Well it's 5am i i have just got home from work. Yep thats right it's production week again, which i will tell you about later. For now i thought i would tell you about bristol at 5am.

It is very windy.
Slightly rainy.
And dark.

Thats all, night.
- posted by J @ 04:57

 
Conversations in the green room.

1. Trying to explain to an actor that you cant pre test a pyro.
2. Where all the mugs have gone.
3. The fact that the sound opp's microwave cauliflower cheese smells like wet dog.
4. Why we have 400 packets of crisps.
5. Why the government policy on ID cards is an infringement on civil rights.
6. Why when we are being told on the news that the war in Iraq is over are there still troops there and fighting going on.
7. Whose are these M&M's and can I pinch some.
8. When did the fountains in the center of town get filled with foam.
9. Which is the better film "Holy grail" or "Life of Brian".
And
10. Why we cant paint the 18th century pros arch black for a show and that the Artistic Director is mad if he thinks we are going to.

I think you will agree a very productive week.

- posted by J @ 10:28

 
Underground laughs.
These are some tannoy announcements heard on the London underground.

Heard on the Piccadilly Line
"to the gentleman wearing the long grey coat trying to get on the second carriage, what part of 'stand clear of the doors' don't you understand."

On the Central line.
"Next time, you might find it easier to wait until the doors are open before trying to get on the train"

Heard on the Northern line
"Ladies and gentlemen this train has 22 doors on each side, please feel free to use all of them, not just the two in the middle".

Going back to Putney on a late night District Line train. There were some guys smoking in one of the carriages so at Putney Bridge the driver announced
"May I remind all passengers that there is strictly no smoking allowed on any part of the Underground. However, if you are smoking a joint it is only fair that you pass it round the rest of the carriage".

"Ladies and gentlemen, upon departing the train may I remind you to take your rubbish with you. Despite the fact that you are in something that is metal, fairly round, filthy and smells, this is a tube train and not a bin on wheels."

"Your delay this evening is caused by the line controller suffering from elbow and backside syndrome, not knowing his elbow from his backside. I'll let you know any further information as soon as I'm given any."

"I am sorry about the delay. Apparently some nutter has just wandered into the tunnel at Euston. We don't know when we'll be moving again, but these people tend to come out pretty quickly. In bits."

Heard on the Piccadilly Line
"Please allow the doors to close. Try not to confuse this with 'Please hold the doors open'. The two are distinct and separate instructions."

Londontown, heard over the tannoy:
"Would the lady going down the escalator please lower her umbrella, it doesn't rain underground."

All are taken from 'Going Underground'
- posted by J @ 22:33

 
Service station shenanigans.
Driving the highways and byways of this little isle you notice a lot of inconsistencies and idiosyncrasies along the way.
Up and down motorway's across the country you see the sign "Tiredness can kill, Take a break", So you pull in to your local Motorway services thinking "That's good advice I will stop and have a couple of hours kip."

BUT THAT IS ALL YOUR ALLOWED.

Because in the services carpark is a sign that says "Free parking for 2 hours" After that you have to pay £8 just to sit in there car park.

This is the portion of the post that turns into the rant.

£5 for a fucking BK flamer meal ($9) that will cost me £3 at any other BK ($5), £3 for a coffee, 80p for a packet of crisps I'm sorry guys but they really are taking the piss.

But the thing that really makes me laugh is this:
You have just spent 2 hours on the motorway driving in the rain stuck behind some twat of a lorry driver, spent 3hrs in a traffic jam and you think AHHHH fuck it I'm pulling in at a service station for a coffee. After agreeing loan terms with the service station for the small mortgage on your house to enable you to buy a coffee you decide to loosen up with a quick game on one of the arcade machines. Off you pop Only to discover that the arcade machines consist of all BLOODY DRIVING GAMES.
Just NO, If I wanted to waste £10 in change Driving like a nutter around a white lined course I would go out to the car park, at least there I could do it in the comfort of my own car rather than the plastic bucket seat that has a pool of someone else's sweat in it that you provide.

Phew got that out of my system.

- posted by J @ 23:28

 
Crossword final.
Ok here are the list of answers.

Across

1. Hackers Special K (6,6) Cerial Killer
6. Us presidential sitcom (4,4) West Wing
10. As a fox (3) Sly
12. The distance between the tips of the wings of an airplane (4) Span
13. A 1998 film staring Angelina Jolie and directed by Michael Cristofer (3) Gia
14. In "LX" what does the X stand for (7) Effects
16. To melt (4) Thaw
17. Big head (3) Ego
18. Consumed (3) Ate
19. A hat maker (8) Milliner
22. Don't bite them (5) Nails
24. A pigs house (3) Sty
25. A little grizzly (4) Bear
26. A Type of cheese (4) Feta
28. Beyond what is natural (7) Uncanny
29. School yard game (3) Tag
30. A Swiss mountain (5) Eiger
32. Fidelity (5) Troth
34. One who cant stand still. (8) Squirmer
35. Microsoft browser (2) IE
36. An empress of Russia (10) Oczaritzas
37. Something you sit on (5) Bench
39. WW1 movie that will get you high (4) Aces
41. A short version when something is not required (2) NA
43. The dark lord (9) Beelzebub
44. Tombstone inscription (3) RIP
45. What did the Mock turtle throw out to sea (7) Lobster
47. A mountain range of southwest Kyrgyzstan (4) Alai
48. Only to be worn when walking your estate (5) Tweed
49. The longest river of Asia (7) Yangtze
50. A helmet (4) Helm
51. A collection of Norse poems. (4) Edda
52. A bank robbery (4,2) Hold up
53. Supplies or funds advanced to a mining prospector (10) Grubstaker

Down

1. Who created the popular image of father Christmas (4) Coke
2. A hotel chain. (7) Raffles
3. A Russian rifle (2) AK
4. The worlds most merchandised band (4) Kiss
5. A Type of sword (6) Rapier
6. Immoral of unchaste (6) Wanton
7. Sideshow bob's Surname (11) Terwillger
8. Gold bar (5) Ingot
9. Blogging with Charles (7,4) Gravity Zero
11. Mythical beastman (4) Yeti
15. The wurzles had a brand new what (7, 9) Combine Harvester
18. Only seems to happen in middle America (9) Abduction
20. Film starring David Bowie and Jennifer Connelly (9) Labyrinth
21. Handsome man of Greek myth (8) Narcisus
23. Robs job (3,4,8) Web Site Designer
27. Energy source (6) Atomic
31. A sweet syrupy trihydroxy alcohol (9) Glycerine
33. Arnie had a total one (6) Recall
38. A Slow Cuban dance (9) Habaneras
40. A month of the year (9) September
42. They wrote the theme tune to the sopranos (7) Alabama
43. Cook in liquid (6) Braise
46. A city of north-central New York (6) Oswego
50. A Polynesian dance characterized by undulating hips (4) Hula

Ok 36 across seems to have caused some issues the answer is Oczaritzas but having said that I cannot find the source I used, so in the interests of fair play I am discounting it from the game.

After all that here is the final tally.

Rob:
Points spent: 150
Incorrect answers: 0
Points won: 2000
Markiss:
Points spent: 0
Incorrect answers: 1 (32 across was Troth not truth)
Points won: 0
Kelvin:
Points spent: 0
Incorrect answers: 16
Points won: 0

Well done Rob you may now choose either Markiss or Kelvin to receive 1000 points.

- posted by J @ 11:08

 
Google wack
Yay we have just found our first google wack.

Under Polruan clam. It was a combined effort between myself, Vic and our friend Dave.
For posterity it has been recorded here.

Just thought I would share.

- posted by J @ 22:51

 
Site Traffic.
Woah, Site meter is telling me I got 102 hits yesterday, that's great.

Although it isn't. As none of those hits left any comments or seemed to leave any sign that they were here. Personally I don't mind if people don't comment but it is nice to see that people are reading as opposed to just passing through.

Me I try to comment as much as possible. It is a link to the person who is posting and I like to think that it makes them feel good or at least confirm that there thoughts are not just getting lost in the ether. I enjoy hearing other peoples views on my posts and even if I don't agree I like to find out what others think.

So come on peeps don't be shy.

- posted by J @ 18:45

 
Crossword delay.
I am waiting for Kelvin to hand his in, he has asked for a little extension as he has been a little busy so I will be closing it of Wednesday and posting the answers on Thursday.

- posted by J @ 18:44

 
Run away, run away.
That's it I'm off.

For a couple of days so I will put you out of your misery and post the answers to the crossword when I return.

Yoik.




- posted by J @ 21:47

 
Advert madness.
The other night while watching CH4 with Vic there was an ad break (annoying but unavoidable) during the ad's Vicky and I were chatting and not paying to much attention to the telly until we both noticed and advert for KY Warming ultra gel. Which is most bizarre as I have never seen an TV advert for KY jelly of any kind and just found it funny. It did make me think however,

If you could shoot an advert for any product Real or fictional what would it be?
Who would star in it?
And what music track (if any) would you use?

Go on have a go, I will be posting mine later on in the week.

- posted by J @ 18:31

 
Life as we know it 2.
I used to love this song when I was a kid.

And while we are on the subject of things I liked when I was a nipper.

Pacers. What happened to those little white and green striped, spearmint sweets they were lovely (Maybe someone out there knows).
Degrassi junior high. I don’t know why I liked it I think it was shit looking back.
Roger ramjet. It was great.
The Mary Whitehouse experience. Just funny.
And of course.
Madonna. Sorry I will specify, Madonna pre vogue and defiantly pre American pie.

- posted by J @ 12:29