Hospital hell.
Before I get into the body of this post I have to let you all know I will be posting the answers to this weeks questions next weekend, there a couple of reasons for this:
No1. They were posted late and I want to give you all time and
No2. I am shattered and this is the main reason.

6am yesterday morning (Friday) vic and I went to change poppy's nappy as usual and found it full of blood. So after a brake neck drive to the children's A+E (ER to the Americans among you) we spent half the day being shuffled from department to department and poor poppy being jabbed with lots of needles we were told by the surgical team the poppy has a intussusception in her bowel.

They decided to whisk her off to the X-ray unit to give her an air enema (tube up the bum and pump in air) which they had to do three times while I had to restrain her, She was then put onto a drip and taken up to the ward to spend the night in observation.

At which point we were told that she could not be fed for 24 hours in case it didn't work and they had to operate. So after much soul searching and decision making I sent vic home to get some rest as she would not be able to feed poppy and would need here strength for the next day. While I spent a very sleepless night trying to comfort a baby that only wanted to be fed and feeling like the most evil person in the world for not giving her food.

Vic arrived back at hospital this morning and we were told that she could be fed, after a long feed poppy was all smiles and after a sleep and a second feed they removed the drip. All being well we have been told she may be able to come home tomorrow (Sunday) and at the latest Monday but they want to see how she is pooing and make sure that she is doing ok.

I am now at home and vic is staying at the hospital the night as she is feeding again so I am now going to bed to sleep before I collapse (as you can imagine it has been a complete emotional rollercoaster) and will be joining them again tomorrow.

will post soon.

Addition: I don't care what people say about the NHS the child care at the Royal hospital for children has been the best any parent could ask for and I have been overwhelmed buy the level of service and dedication that we have been shown.

- posted by J @ 23:32

 
Chocolate frenzy.
After a visit to shoes, ships and sealing wax and all the talk about chocolate got me thinking about my own sweet tooth.

I have three major weaknesses in life Root beer,  Cadburys crème eggs and Dairy milk
Ok root beer is not a chocolate but it's my post so puthhhhh.
Anyway for those of you who don't know,  you cannot buy root beer in the UK Which is a real shame and a little bit of a pain for me, I have to wait for an American friend of mine to bring some over. Cadburys crème eggs and Dairy milk however are easy to come buy, but I try to avoid them as much as possible otherwise I would be as huge as a house.

But the reason for this post is this. 
  
 
Yes you are seeing correctly it is a Hershey bar in a frame.

The story is simple, about 6 years ago I had a conversation with Sara (my American friend) about chocolate in the US, Now I had always been told by friends who had visited the US that if I ever went not to eat Hershey chocolate. She was rather taken a back by this and proceeded to tell me how great it was and that she would bring me some back after her next visit home.
About a month later she appears on my doorstep brandishing 3 Hershey bars. 1 normal and 2 cookies & mint.
So here is the scene Me, Vicky, My flatmate and Sara sat in the lounge waiting for a taste of this chocolate, We all took a piece and popped it in our mouth's.
BLEGHHHH
Simultaneously all of us, bar Sara, Spat out the chocolate square. "That's fucking awful," proclaimed my flatmate (he was always one for tact) and I did have to admit, I agreed with him. I am really, really sorry to all my American readers I don't mean to dis your chocolate but I really hated it. It tasted like floor sweepings. Now, I know that there are people who have tasted chocolate from the UK and feel the same about ours, but the reason I have framed this bar is as a reminder that you should always try things at least once and that there are always more bars of chocolate.

UPDATE: since this post i have recently tried Hershey kiss's and there not bad.


- posted by J @ 14:05

 
The Big Question answered.
At last I can post freely.

Here we go

Q1. Which insect found in Brazil has the same smell and colour as chocolate?
A. The coco moth.
Winner. Markiss, Kelvin and Kel
Q2. What was built inside an oak tree in Allouville, France in 1696?
A. A two story church (I gave you half marks for 2 churches).
Winner. Markiss, Kelvin and kel
Q3. What does the rainbow trout make it's nest out of?
A. Pebbles (I accepted stones, gravel, and all other stony related stuff found on river beds).
Winner. Markiss, Kelvin and kel
Q4. How many Scottish lakes are there?
A. 2 all the rest are lochs.
Winner. Markiss, Kelvin and kel
Q5.  Chemically what substance is closest to human blood?
A. Seawater (Don't ask I'm not a scientist, Coconut milk is however the closest chemical match for Blood Plasma).
Winner. No one.

Totals:
Markiss: = 105
Kelvin: = 105
Kel: = 105

 
Congrats.

This weeks Questions are.

Q1. After has first appearance what was Elvis advised to do?
Q2. What percent of freshwater fish found on earth are in the Amazon?
Q3. What do giraffes do to show mutual affection?
Q4. Where does the English word for calculate derive from?
Q5.  How many drops of water are needed to fill a teaspoon?

Points:
30 each.
 Enjoy ya'll.



- posted by J @ 10:33

 
I quit!
This is the 4th time i have tried to post the answers to the "big Q" and i am giving up, You will all have to wait till im home on tuesday for the answers.

Sorry.

- posted by J @ 23:20

 
AHHHHHHHH
I have realized that I am blessed to have Broadband, we are currently staying with vic's brother at his pub/hotel and I have finally managed to get on the computer and read some of your blogs, after rob's, kel's and kelvin's I gave up. It is just to damn slow.


- posted by J @ 23:15

 
Dial up!
Just a quick post to say I am away at the moment and as such the only comp I can use has a dial up connection and therefore is very slow.
I shall try and post the "Big question" answers tomorrow, but don't know if I will be able to get online yet.

Happy reading.


- posted by J @ 21:58

 
Under the sink repost.
As you can see I have re-vamped my site and there are a few new features.

To the right I now have a link to the reviews page; everything I review in my blogger will go here after.
I also, thanks to Markiss, now have a clever little "recent comments" thing as well.
Also there is now a poppy page so I can show off my baby girl, and there have also been changes to my main site but I'm not going to list them here, I still however have some gaps.
I see some of you still have not looked under your sinks and revealed their innermost contents, so I am offering points for photos of interesting things under your sinks.
I don't mind if they are doctored, faked or generally tampered with it's all in the name of fun.
 
Also my links page is looking a little sparse and I am offering more points for your links. No porn please but I will accept pretty much anything else.
 
I look forward to the email influx.

Enjoy the new site.

- posted by J @ 23:27

 
Attack of the killer bee's
The cupcakes have been done. They are finished, all 150 of them and they are frozen.
 
So now we move onto the decoration, The cupcakes are being iced at the last minute but there are still decorations to make. We could have bought them but it was decided that it would be cheaper and more fun to make them (if your ever feel the need to buy ready made icing to make into fun things, dont. Buy them, icing is a shit to work with).
 
So I spent 4 hours today making icing sugar bee's (Masculinity dropping by 50%), 20 of them and they look like this:  
 
I’m rather proud of my bee’s. My flowers however were a complete disaster and had to be eaten.   
I will post a pic of the entire construction when It is constructed and I can get a photo.  
 
Points: 50 points to the first person to tell me the inspiration for my title.

- posted by J @ 16:44

 
Prizes galore.
Kelly is hot on Markiss's heels after the purchase of her 2nd and 3rd prizes Who will be the first to discover the whole hidden message.
 
 

- posted by J @ 23:05

 
BEWARE SERIOUS RANT AHEAD
I am fed up with bloody hookers.
 
I live in a mildly dogey area, Its not awful but I still wouldn't walk around here at 2 in the morning. The biggest problem this area has is Prostitutes.

Now the police have been trying for some time to rid this area of Hookers (Well I say trying, they put up a few signs about people being arrested, but I haven't seen a police patrol around here for about a year).
Anyway I am getting a little fed up with hookers standing on the street, not because of what they do but because of how they look (that makes me sound very middle class but read on).
Now I am not adverse to purchasing the odd Cheap copy of some item or other but when it comes to sex I would like the best.
If I was ever to go to a Hooker (Which I never would, I think there is something very strange about the need to buy sex and why would I bother driving a Lada when I have a Ferrari at home.) I would get the best, not some cheap $10 hooker who looks like she should be in a clinic because she has been ramming too much heroin into her veins. 

But what is really pissing me off, is when I'm coming back from the shops with a couple of bags of shopping and I get asked if I want business. WHAT THE FUCK. 
You know I came out the house and I new I would forget something. Cheese, milk, bread, oh and a blowjob from a skanky, shitfaced hooker. Darn it I always forget that. 

Now my attitude is what people get up to in there own homes is up to them, as long as it is consenting and legal I am not interested, but it pisses me of when it is outside my house. 

What the hell do I pay my taxes for (That makes me sound like my dad but it is still true).

Sorry rant over with.




- posted by J @ 12:41

 
Big Question Time!
Here are last weeks answers.
 
Q1. Why do bears climb telegraph poles?
A. Because of the buzzing, which they mistake for bees.
Winner. Kelly, Kelvin, Tshari, Markiss.
Q2. Which poet was buried in the heart of an oak tree?
A. Hans von Thummel (don't ask me why).
Winner. Kelly, Kelvin, Tshari, Markiss.
Q3. How much liquid can a 10 gallon hat hold?
A. Approx 6 pints (3.4 ltrs)
Winner. No one, Yes some of you were right about the misconception about the word but that's not what I asked.
Q4. In Washington what can a man not do with virgins?
A. Have sex with them
Winner. Kelly, Kelvin, Tshari, Markiss.
Q5.  What does this sentence say and in which language "ÉG hafa neitun hugmynd svo ÉG svikari við using a tungumál þýðandi."
A. I have no idea so I cheated by using a language translator.
Winner. Kelvin and Markiss.
 
Totals:
Kel: =60
Kelvin = 80
Tshari = 60
Markiss = 80
 
Congrats.
 
This weeks Questions are.
 
Q1. Which insect found in Brazil has the same smell and colour as chocolate?
Q2. What was built inside an oak tree in Allouville, France in 1696?
Q3. What does the rainbow trout make it's nest out of?
Q4. How many Scottish lakes are there?
Q5.  chemically what substance is closest to human blood?
 
Points:
30 each.

Have fun.




- posted by J @ 10:45

 
CHEEEEEEEEEEES!
1. If you had a choice, would you be circumsized or not? Why or why not? (ladies, pretend to be men or skip this one)
No I like all where it is thank you.
2. What elective surgery would you have performed on yourself if expense wasn't an object?
don't think I would have any actually.
3. What body part of yours is perfect just the way it is?
My eyes.
4. What was your most serious or involved surgery?
Have never had surgery unless you count Molar removal.
5. Cesarean section or vaginal birth?
You would have to ask Vicky but I would say vaginal.
6. Epidural or drug free child birth?
Well Vicky gave birth drug free but I think she would say Drugs please if we go again.
7. Which is worse, the anticipation or the recovery?
Recovery, Sitting around for hours doing nothing.
 
Unrelated questions:
8. How has your blog's focus shifted over the course of its run?
Yes I feel it has, I feel it is slightly more blurry that when I started.
9. What has been the main cause of the shift, if there has been one?
Alcohol mainly.
10. How often do you redesign your site?
About once a year, There's loads to do.
11. Are you stats mad (interpret that how you will) or don't care about hits, page visits and the like?
I am interested but I prefer to spend my time catering to those who come back rather than one hit wonders.



- posted by J @ 12:14

 
Cupcake hell
It has started.
Well it started yesterday in fact.
I am in cupcake hell.
Why did she agree to do this?
 
Calm! Lets start at the beginning.
 
Next week Vicky, poppy and myself are going to Vicky’s nephews naming ceremony. For this do Vicky has agreed to make a cake (Vicky is a great baker, but I’m biased). Which I feel is a fairly simple thing.
No.
Somewhere along the line the cake has turned into a Cupcake cake. So production begun yesterday of 150 cupcakes. 150! In a domestic oven. A small domestic oven.
Now, The problem is (apart from the fact that I become the taste tester whenever Vicky starts cooking, which I don’t mind but it wont be doing my waste line any good), stacking the bloody things without the use of tiers and assorted cake paraphernalia. It’s a logistical nightmare, try it, you will see what I mean, Go on I dare ya’.
Well by the end of yesterday we had made 78 and had only reached 6 layers so tomorrow we have to start making more.
 
Oh and also transport them 2.5 hrs up the motorway.
 
And ice them.
 
And make bizarre marzipan and icing creatures to go on the top.
 
And remember how we stacked them to get the right tower.
 
All with a 6 week old baby.
 
And no sleep.

 Isn’t life fun?


- posted by J @ 23:42

 
Park-tastic.
Poppy and I went for a walk in the park today, Well I walked she fell asleep 2 mins after leaving the house and woke up again 30secs after we got home, but it was a good wander none the less.

The park is fairly nice but could use some attention, it does have some large grass areas for people to run around on and a lake. So I managed to see ducks, swans, a heron and a passed out crack whore, Which was nice.
The upsetting thing is that I grew up in the country and was therefore spoiled for choice when it came to nature.
My summers from school were spent in always very much the same way, Cycling with my friends the 5 miles to the local waterfall swimming all day, BBQ and home for dinner at 7. I feel very privileged by that and I learnt about nature from a very young age.
My point is that where I grew up, There is no work. Oh there are jobs if you don't mind earning about 3 quid an hour ($5), which is shit. So I had to move out of the country to the city and my worry is that Poppy is going to have a very different upbringing to me where her contact with the great outdoors will consist of a park.

I suppose though that holidays are the only option, Until i win the lottery.

Just thought I would vent.
- posted by J @ 15:22

 
The great nappy debate!
Ok This is a baby related post, All those who are fed up of me talking about babies Scroll down now.

Right here goes.
Nappies, something I thought was a fairly simple item in life.
WRONG.
These are your choices, disposable (of which there are loads of different ranging from bog standard to plush), Bio-Friendly disposable (of which there are a few), Terry toweling and Re-usable (Which is a minefield in it's own right).
Well the debate started about 3 months before poppy was born and is still raging. Basically what it seems to boil down to, is two real debates, Money and the environment. Easy choice Re-usable nappies are cheaper in the long term and eco friendly.
WRONG.
Yes re-usable nappies are cheaper and eco friendly but I live in a flat and I don't have a vast quantity of drying space for nappies, storage bucket, Clothes, Muslin squares etc.
Ok then Disposable.
WRONG.
After reading a little gem on the net that said "Every disposable nappy that has ever been produced still exists" ie has not degraded yet, This I thought was a little scary.
So as an central line we choose Tushies, there bio-degradable disposables great.
WRONG. BOINK, BOINK, BOINK (sound of head banging against wall)
They are not if they go into a landfill site.
SHIT.
I give up, I have bought them now so I'm sticking with them. I can see this debate continuing until poppy is out of nappys.
Oh just thought I would let you know, The debate is not with Vicky, oh no, it's with my mum, my gran, our friends (who have kids) and about a dozen other people who come out of the wood work. But mainly books.
They say knowledge is a dangerous thing and when it comes to babies I am tending to agree, I have heard Two good comments in the last three months and they are:
"In this day and age we know more about or children and have more information than ever before and we are more scared than we have ever been about bringing up our children."
And the second was.
"Follow your instincts"

see ya.
- posted by J @ 16:20

 
A Little link.
Cheers Emma

Sean Connery

Enjoy
- posted by J @ 16:17

 
The Big Question answered!
Here we go

Q1. What happens to a litre of vinegar in winter?
A. It gets heavier
Winner. Edmund, Kelvin and kel
Q2. What is Spain named after?
A. Spain is named after a Carthaginian word meaning rabbits.
Winner. No one which was a little surprising.
Q3. How do horses show aggression?
A. By laying back there ears (Among other things)
Winner. Edmund, Kelvin and kel
Q4. Which is the least salty sea in the world?
A. The Baltic
Winner. Edmund, Kelvin and kel
Q5. How do dolphins sleep?
A. With one eye open.
Winner. Edmund, Kelvin and kel

Totals:
Kel: =80
Kelvin = 80
Edmund = 80

Well done all of you.

This weeks Questions are.

Q1. Why do bears climb telegraph poles?
Q2. Which poet was buried in the heart of an oak tree?
Q3. How much liquid can a 10 gallon hat hold?
Q4. In Washington what can a man not do with virgins?
Q5. What does this sentence say and in which language "ÉG hafa neitun hugmynd svo ÉG svikari við using a tungumál þýðandi."

Points:
20 each.


Good luck.

- posted by J @ 16:14

 
A little joke for the night.
A Mother had 3 virgin daughters.
They were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.
The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but: "Nescafe"!
Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to her kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar.
It said: "Good till the last drop”.
Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.

The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and the card read: "Rothmans"
Mom now knew to go straight to her husband's cigarettes, and she read from the pack: "Extra Long. King Size"
She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.

The third girl left for her honeymoon in Cape Town. Mom waited for a week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing. Then after a whole month, a card finally arrived.
Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words "South African Airways"
Mom took out her latest YOU magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for SAA.
The ad said: "Ten times a day, seven days a week, both ways."


Mom fainted!
- posted by J @ 23:24

 
Cheesy cheesiness for the sake of cheesy cheese!
1. What is your earliest memory (presumably as a baby but maybe not)?
Last friday evening.
No really, Off the top of my head falling asleep on the sheepskin rug in our bathroom when I was about 3.
2. What scares or scared you most about having kids?
Everything but mainly if I am going to be good enough.
3. How did your life change or how do you think your life will change when you have children?
So far apart from nappies, Large quantities of crap, No sleep, Vast quantities of washing and general chaos not a lot has changed, 4 weeks in and we have already been away and are also going camping in august so we shall see how much it changes things.
4. What is your favorite thing about babies?
It dose not matter how much they cry, scream, keep you awake or generally make you stressed the moment they look at you and smile it all disappears.
5. Is there anything sweeter than a sleeping baby?
Yes a sleeping baby at night.
- posted by J @ 13:56

 
Tis That review time again!
"I don't need bodyguards"
-James Hoffa (President of the teamsters Union) interviewed by jerry Stanecki for Playboy, June 1975.

Jimmy Hoffa disappeared on July 30, 1975.

I'm no expert but this book is great,
The Experts Speak by Christopher Cerf and Victor navasky cracked me up, These two boys seem to have hit the nail on the head with this one.
What's it about? Well its about everything and nothing, Which is to say it is not a novel or a book you can read from cover to cover, but it is interesting.
You know when you have been sitting watching telly and a rather snooty boffin has just declared that he believes that mars is made of green cheese (I know, its made of edam.), Well he had better be careful because Christopher and victor may be watching.
Basically this book is full of all the quotes smart, informed, political and famous people have made and now really wish they hadn't.

"And while I am talking to you mothers and fathers, I give you one more assurance. I have said this before, but I say it again and again and again: your boys are not going to be sent into any foreign wars"
-Franklin Delano Roosevelt. (President of the United states), Campaigning for reelection in Boston, October 30, 1940

"1984 is a failure"
-Laurence Brander (British Literary scholar and critic) commenting on George Orwell, 1954

This book covers everything from science to art, politics to social reform and it is worth a read just to see who has really made a prat of themselves.

At 400 pages long (Including the index) It is a medium weight book but an easy read and if it's not for you, it may help prop up that leg on your coffee table you have been meaning to fix. Either way I would recommend it to any one who wants a good chortle at the experts and feel that maybe there not so bright after all.

Enjoy.

- posted by J @ 17:34

 
Round, Round……
Up.

God! I go away for a couple of days and all hell breaks loose. With so much happened I thought I would do a round up.

Rob of Xset fame has finally jacked it in and hung up his Blogging gloves. I personally feel this is a shame and as rob was the one who got me in to this lark and I for one will sorely miss his sparkling repartee. But we all have to go sometime and this seems to be right for him so please pop over and wish him all the best.

Markiss has had some bad news and I wish him and the Stefan's family all the best and as he says Life does go on.

While I'm sending out good vibes I will send some in Victors way for the rats he is looking after.

Kel has eaten far to much chocolate.

And a by-product of which has appeared on Kelvin's site.

Frank has finally gone mad.

Brian was always mad.

And it finally came out. Some of you may remember Robs call to arms a little while ago, Well I did in my usual fashion and direction of a rampant bull in a china shop with a response and I got a reply (I like reply's so I was a little kinder with the second.) and the study has now been published so go have a read and see for yourself.

Phew! Well that's that lot out the way.

P.s. 20 samples to the first person who tells me the name of the group who inspired my choice of title.
- posted by J @ 10:05

 
Big Questions answered. (Late)
Sorry, Sorry I know there late I had to go away for a couple of days.

But this weeks answers are.

Q1. Who invented the telephone?
A. Antonio Meucci
Winner. Kel, Kelvin, Markiss and Edmund.
Q2. Who was the inventor of the fire extinguisher?
A. Thomas J. Martin
Winner. Kel, Kelvin, Markiss and Edmund.
Q3. What is different about the king of hearts?
A. He is the only king without a moustache
Winner. Kelvin. But I gave Kel, Edmund and markiss 10 points each for correctly identifying him as the suicide king.
Q4. Which jewel melts in vinegar?
A. Pearls (but as many of you pointed out they don't strictly melt)
Winner. Kel, Kelvin, Markiss and Edmund.
Q5. In 1984 what did a Canadian farmer do?
A. He rented advertising space on his cows.
Winner. Kel, Kelvin, Markiss and Edmund.

Totals:
Kel: =70
Kelvin = 80
Edmund = 70
Markiss = 70

Well done all of you.

This weeks Questions are.

Q1. What happens to a litre of vinegar in winter?
Q2. What is Spain named after?
Q3. How do horses show aggression?
Q4. Which is the least salty sea in the world?
Q5. How do dolphins sleep?

Points:
20 each.


Good luck.

- posted by J @ 09:45

 
Points news.
Congrats to markiss on his aquasition of 3 more prizes, he is well on his way to his first plaque.
- posted by J @ 13:03

 
Chees for two and two for cheese.
1. What was the best thing that happened to you this week? The worst?
Treated Vicky to a stay in a posh hotel and posh meal.
Having to help Vicky sort her dads stuff to be sold before probate.
2. What's the best thing someone's done for you (recently or not so recently)? What's the worst thing someone's done to you (again, recently or not so recently)?
A friend treated us to a meal just when we needed to get out of the house.
Ill get back to you
3. What's the best thing about your job? Worst?
I get paid for doing something that is stupidly easy and that I love.
I don't get paid enough.
4. What's the best new website you've found? Worst?
www.Subserviantchicken.com
http://www.georgewbush.com/blog/ (what a load of shit might as well loop a tape "Bush is great, Bush is great") I like the way that this site has the Huge "OFFICIAL BLOG" banner, Yes it is the official blog Of "GeorgeWbush.COM" just not of George w bush.
5. What's the best book you've read? Worst?
At the moment Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee, But I am also reading Nostradamus Ate My Hamster which is fab and I will review it when I finish.
A book called red dust.
6. What's the best movie you've seen? Worst?
A film called Series 7.
The worst has to be Battlefield earth (Fairly good book, Really, Really Shit film. And the only film I have walked out of.)
7. What's the best meal you've had? Worst?
18 course dinner on a balcony terrace in Venice with about 15 people, There was a waiter for every 3 people and every time your glass of got below half full the waiter would top it up, it was a fantastic meal.
McDonald's.
8. What's the best holiday? Worst?
5 weeks touring India.
Cant think of a worst probably one of the holidays away with parents when I was a kid
9. What's the best thing in your future? Worst?
Seeing my daughter grow up, advancing my career and retiring (and shit loads of stuff in between.)
Not having enough time.
10. What's the best quote you know? Worst?
"No regrets", or One of my favorite lines "Your born and then you die, The bit in between is called life!"
don't really have one
[Update: Sorry for the late addition but I was just reminded of another good Best/Worst question by Lily.
11. What's your best word? Worst word? (and yes, this is open to some interpretation)]
Ice cream. (I'm interpreting)
Overdraft.
- posted by J @ 12:20