Comments.
Sorry folks seams like my comments thingy has been out of action.
Little script problem on my part, I will leave the questions for a little longer so that you can answer them.
- posted by J @ 19:07

 
Unreal!
I have waited for a week before posting this to try and be truly un-biased but I cant so fuck it!

For those who don't know or who have been hiding under a rock Unreal Tournament 2004 appeared on the shelves last week,
and I have decided to give a little review of my own.

My machine spec: AMD 2.8, 512 ram, Gforce fx graphics, 512kbps broadband.

Offline:

Price: possibly a little steep at £39.99 but you get what you pay for.

Spec: High, You need a decent machine to play this but with a bit of tweaking you may be able to bring it down a bit.

The look: Very pretty, smooth and crispy. A definite improvement on 2003.

The menu's: A far better menu system than UT gotye, and nice and easy to use for first timers.

You: The character creation is a lot better giving you the choices of a lot more faces, bodies, colours etc so you can pick a character that suits you rather than a generic.

Your team: Yes you get to pick a team, this adds an interesting element to the game and makes it a bit more fun.

The game: More types of games, which makes more fun. Qualifiers, which adds a nice twist. And better teams, which makes it hard.

The graphics: Wow

The Maps: Huge and very very pretty

The weapons:
The assault rifle: Nice but largely useless
The Flack cannon: Very handy and as good as it ever was.
The lightning gun: Good, but takes a little while to recharge but with a handy zoom function.
The sniper rifle: Handy
The Mini gun: Wooho now you’re talking.
The rocket launcher: Same as always, except you cant rack up rockets which is a little bit of a let down.
The shield gun: I haven’t had time to use it really.
The shock rifle: Fun Fun Fun. Bigger shock ball explosion.
The Bio rifle, Translocator and Redeemer: Some old favs.
The link gun: Very handy, Very powerful, and great for team games.
The ion painter, Ion cannon, Avril and Target painter: I haven’t used yet.
The minelayer and grenade launcher: do exactly what it says on the tin.

With the introduction of Vehicles, Mounted cannons and an assortment of other bits and pieces Offline this is a truly fantastic game.

Online:

What can I say?

FUCKING GREAT.

That about sums it up really, The introduction of Voice chat, Text to Voice, Map voting, Loads more maps makes this one of the best games I have ever played. I must admit I was a little disappointed with UT 2003 but 2004 has really made up for it.

Well-done Atari.

Conclusion: If you haven’t guessed by now I loved this game. It is smooth, Pretty, The rendering is great, the maps are huge but play well, it is very fast and I give it big thumbs up.
10/10

My advice, go out and buy it.

But if you need further convincing:

Screenshots
Weapons
Vehicles
Maps
Games
Features
Homepage

Reviews:
Pc games
Gamespot


- posted by J @ 17:37

 
Google fun
Go to google

Type in "weapons of mass destruction"

Click "I feel lucky"

Read it

HEHEHEHEHEHE
- posted by J @ 18:22

 
Say CHEESE.
Cheddar time.
Na nana.

1. What would you want written on your epitaph?
Suckers!

2. What do you collect and why?
2000AD. Why because i want to, And because i have been reading it since i was a kid.

3. What's the dumbest legal action you know of?
The one where you can get sued by a thief if they injure themselves while robbing your house. I sorry the fuckers should'nt bee there in the first place if they trip over my cat and fall down the stairs why should i be liable.

4. What single decision in your life do you wish you could change? (might be a double, oh well)
Dont really have one happy with decisions i have made, might not be the right ones but no regrets.

5. Some people resemble their dogs, do you know anyone that resembles their name?
Yes Rob does actualy look like a robert so do a couple of other people i know.

And from Robert
6. What's your favourite / most used unit of time?
Days, i think because my life seems to work on a 24 basis.

Which makes me wonder.
7. What's the best internet time device you've seen so far?
I would have to say, I have no idea.
- posted by J @ 18:20

 
Big Q answered.
Two winners this week Rob with 12 soil samples and Edmund with 15 soil samples.

The answers are.

Q1. In The film Terminator how many words of dialogue does arnie have? And how many people does he kill?
A. According to the director Arnie has 74 words of dialogue and kills 27 people.
Winner. Edmund (10), Arnie's Dialogue from Terminator (69 words).
1. Nice night for a walk
2. Nothing clean, right
3. Your clothes, give them to me now
4. The 12 gauge autoloader
5. The .45 long-slide with laser sighting
6. Phased plastic rifle in 40-watt range
7. The Uzi nine-millimeter
8. All
9. Wrong
10. Sarah Conner?
11. I'm a friend of Sarah Conner
12. I was told that she's here
13. Could I see her, please?
14. Where is she?
15. I'll be back
16. Fuck you, Asshole
17. Get out

Arnie didn't kill anyone they were only actors ,-) (iow I don't have a clue).

(Sorry Edmund you missed some)

Q2. What three things did Alfred Hitchcock say you need to make a good film?
A. "To make a good film you need A good script, a good script and a good script."
Winner. Rob (2 samples), err camera, actors, and at least 2 associate producers ... oh and a llama
(I liked the llama idea)

Q3. In easy rider who plays the three main characters?
A. The three main characters are played by Dennis hopper, Jack Nicholson and Peter fonder.
Winner. Rob (10 samples) and Edmund (5 samples). Jack Nicholson, Dennis Hopper and ... urm ... that other guy ... Macaulay culkin!
Never seen Easy Rider but I know Dennis Hopper won Best New Director for it at Cannes.

Well done to you both

THE BIG QUESTION.

More Film'ey questions.

Q1. Which film did Humphrey Bogart win the only Oscar of his carrier for?
Q2. How many drawings made up the 1937 version of Snow White?
Q3. How many osiers did "cabaret" win?
Q4. What was Walt Disney afraid of?

Q1. 25 samples
Q2. 40 samples for a correct answer, 20 for the closest.
Q3. 25 samples for a correct answer. 15 for the closest.
Q4. 10 samples

Enjoy.
- posted by J @ 21:26

 
Play more sports.
Cheers rob

Yeti sports
- posted by J @ 18:24

 
Time for Cheese? Anyone?
When I say:
Olympics, you say? = flame
Politics = fire
John Kerry = hope
George Bush = Twat!
Osama = Twat! (and Bush seniors business buddy)
Same-sex marriage = if you must
Todd Bertuzzi = Who?
Barry Bonds = Who?
The Passion of the Christ = oh crap!
Beach = Wohooo
Britney Spears = Nice Knees!
Paris Hilton = No More Please
Microsoft = *bang Fizzzz Wooop Wooop And general noises of computer failure
France = Good food, misunderstood people and nice country.
Hans Blix = Why will people not listen to this man.
Linux = I wish, I wish, I wish.
MTV = Generation
Outsource = Run away.
Hummer H2 = (Don't know what this is)
Honor = Above all.
Love = Vicky
Courteney Love = put it away, put it away. Its scary. Who the fuck keeps letting her out.
- posted by J @ 18:22

 
Fun, Fun, Fun.

Nggghhaahhh!
Grrr arrr Rum and Monkey.
- posted by J @ 17:26

 
Rant update..
Thanks to Edmund for this link it is wonderful.

Mobile phone.

I want one. I wonder if they do them for car stereos that would just be pure bliss.
- posted by J @ 17:54

 
BIG Q answered
One winner this week (Edmund I'm going to start banning you)
Congrats 100 Soil samples.

The answers are.

Q1. "The accident between me, the toaster, The waste disposal chute and a fourteen pound lump hammer" Was a line from which UK TV series.
A. Red dwarf, Series 4, "White hole".
Winner. RED DWARF Season IV Episode 4, "White Hole"
TOASTER: Howdy doodly do! How's it going? I'm Talkie -- Talkie Toaster, your chirpy breakfast companion. Talkie's the name, toasting's the game. Anyone like any t**&!****!
Reminds me of the fate of a certain furby.
Try
Furby Autopsy
Furby Hacking

Q2. It is physically impossible it lick which part of your upper body?
A. Your elbow.
Winner. The question doesn't define the licker :-P so all parts are possible. As for self-licking: Try licking your elbow, go on. . .You can do it really. . . You just have to try harder. . . AHRRR (falls of chair)

Q3. What is more efficient at waking you up in the morning than caffeine?
A. Apples
Winner. Apples. Tell that to sleeping beauty!

Q4. Are polar bears Left or right handed?
A. Left (out of the 200 surveyed)
Winner. Most (not all) are left handed. I suppose watching which paw they use to eat would identify their left-handedness.

Q5. Peter Jackson Directed "lord of the rings" but what other 2 films is he best known for?
A. Brain dead, Bad taste, The furbies, Heavenly creatures. (I would have taken any)
Winner. Bad taste & Braindead spring to mind. (oh and Heavenly Creatures)

THE BIG QUESTION

This weeks questions have a film quality. Here they are.

Q1. In The film Terminator how many words of dialogue does arnie have? And how many people does he kill?
Q2. What three things did Alfred Hitchcock say you need to make a good film?
Q3. In easy rider who plays the three main characters?

Q1. 15each for a correct answer, 10 for the closest.
Q2. 10 if you get all three.
Q3. 5 for each actors full name.

Have fun.
- posted by J @ 10:43

 
I like the cheese.
1. What's your favorite form of corporate or
governmental irony? (I.e. a bike company called Huffy)

Hmm there's the usual suspects of, military intelligence etc but my faves are in advertising. Have you ever read the text that flashes up at the bottom of an add.
Stuff like (Pasta sauce) "Italians wouldn't have it any other way" (made in Holland) or "new improved cleaning formula" (may stain).

2. What are your favorite acronyms?

Cant say that I have a favorite, suppose SETI.
One I hate, and many of you may have seen this on a bank statement, OD.

3. Do you have personal acronyms? What are they?

No. Also can be acronym for Naff Off.

4. Where do you shop online?

What is this market research. Overclockers.co.uk, Play.com, Ebuyer,

5. What do you buy online?

Computer bits mostly, electronics, dvd's etc.

6. What would you do if you were falsely accused of
shoplifting?

Moi! shoplift, How dare you sir. I demand satisfaction, I am of Upstanding class. I do not shop lift.
If they are polite then I will have no problem, if they are shitty then I will get shitty back.

7. What's your take on Feng Shui? Hooey or truey?

Hooey with a touch of truey. True feng shui is more common sense but modern feng shui is more for the gullible idiots who believe if you put your bed near the window your going to decrease you sexual prowess. Putting your bed near a window means you might get cold, common sense.
I sorry I cant buy into it, panting my room red or pink or whatever is not going to increase my income in fact it is going to decrease my income because I have to spend out on paint, brushes etc.
- posted by J @ 17:04

 
"Houston, We have a problem"
Well an asshole really.
Let me put you in the picture.

Saturday night, Dressed in your best with your lady on your arm, An evening of culture at the theatre.
You take your seats among the hubbub of the audience and over the noise you hear an announcement "Ladies and gentlemen Please ensure all mobile phones and pagers are turned off as this evenings performance is about to begin".
The lights dim the music plays and you settle back to immerse yourself in the world of make believe.

Na na na a, na aa, a

Huh? What the.
that's fucking cagney and lacey theme.

And this is my rant.

When you walk into a theatre or cinema, turn your Fucking mobile off or onto silent.
Its fairly simple, All mobiles have a silent function and most have answerphones. You are not that fucking important.
If you want it on, PUT IT ON SILENT.
"Oh I missed the announcement" Is not an excuse. Turn it off the moment you get into the theatre/cinema.

Rant 2.

This is to the Selfish, Uncaring, Moronic assholes who consider that they are better than the other 800 or so people in the auditorium.
You know who you are, You are the people who not only do not switch there phones off but leave them ring if they go off and in some cases actually answer them.

It is simple. I do not want to hear your latest ringtone I know its hard to believe but there it is. I don't even want to hear your phone, So if you cannot go for 2 hours without hearing your phone don't leave your house. BECAUSE YOU PISSING OFF THE REST OF US.
Understand.

Points: 5ss If you can tell me where I got the title of this blog

- posted by J @ 23:18

 
One for the ladies.
Enjoy
- posted by J @ 18:52

 
Cedderieee goodness.
1. Where do you do your best thinking?
On the loo
2. What was the last thing you gave away?
A very good book called "Keep on running" by Ronnie Biggs.
3. What generation do you most identify with? What generation interests you the most?
I mostly identify with my own generation but future generations interest me the most.
4. What was your favorite pet growing up?
My Old English sheep dog Emma.
5. What keeps you up at night?
To much coffee.or are we getting meterphysical.
6. What do you love about your significant other?
The ability to put up with me for the last 10 years.
- posted by J @ 18:49

 
BIG Q answered
We have 2 winners of this weeks Big question and they are Edmund (20 samples for Q1) and sophia (5 samples for Q2).

The answers are.

Q1. For how long did King Louis XIX rule France?
A. King Louis XIX ruled France for 15 minutes.
Winner.
The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
(Edmund) Louis XIX (1775-1844) (duke of Angouleme) technically ruled France for between 10 and 20 (simplified to 15) minutes in 1830. This is the time between Charles X signing his abdication and Louis XIX (who inherits the throne of sorts) signing the same document.

Q2. What was invented first the match or the cigarette lighter?
A. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
Winner. (this is a little controversial but) the chicken.

don't like it tough.

Well done to you both

This week questions:

Q1. "The accident between me, the toaster, The waste disposal chute and a fourteen pound lump hammer" Was a line from which UK TV series.?
Q2. It is physically impossible it lick which part of your upper body?
Q3. What is more efficient at waking you up in the morning than caffeine?
Q4. Are polar bears Left or right handed?
Q5. Peter Jackson Directed "lord of the rings" but what other 2 films is he best known for?

Ok here's how the points break down.

Q1. 30 samples
Q2. 5 samples
Q3. 20 samples
Q4. 10 samples
Q5. 10 samples

If you get all five correct I will give you an extra 10 samples.
If you can tell me the episode name of Q1. I will give you an extra 15 samples.

I'm feeling generous this week.

Good luck.
- posted by J @ 18:43

 
Stolen for around the blogging world.


Which Survivor of the Impending Nuclear Apocalypse Are You?
A Rum and Monkey joint.

WOOHOO I LIKE THIS ONE.

I am Nothing!



Which Enemy of the Christian Church Are You?

Take More of Robert & Tim's Quizzes
Watch Robert & Tim's Cartoons


- posted by J @ 19:09