BIG Q answered
We have a joint winners of this weeks Big question and they are Edmund (again) and rob and Brian split 10 samples because I could not decide between them.

The answers are.

Q1. How much did American Airlines save in 1987 by eliminating 1 olive from each salad served in first-class?
A. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating 1 olive from each salad served in first-class.
Winner. American Airlines saved $40,000
in 1987. (have you been cheating Edmund and using your brain)

Q2. What are the three most valuable brand names (In Any order)?
A. (Good trys by all I was a little startled by this revelation) The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca-Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.
Winner. (Brian) I'd try to think of a good answer for that, but I'm too busy sitting here on my Microsoft Windows computer after finishing up a game on my Sony Playstation wearing my Nike shoes... Oh my that was terrible.
And Rob (because I like the idea) Coke, Diet Coke and Intel (now you need to have your website go bingbongbingbong every time someone reads this page!)

Well done all.

This weeks questions are:

Q1. For how long did King Louis XIX rule France?
Q2. What was invented first the match or the cigarette lighter?

20 samples for a correct answer to Q1
10 for the closest if no one gets it
5 for Q2

Have fun all.
- posted by J @ 17:25

 
Quiz
Blatantly stolen from rob

You're I, Robot!

by Isaac Asimov

While you have established a code of conduct for many generations to
follow, your demeanor is rather cold and calculating. Brought up to serve humans, you
have promised never to harm them, to follow orders, and to protect yourself. Living up
to this code has proved challenging and sometimes even drives you mad. If you were a
type of paper, you would be pulp.


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

- posted by J @ 13:40

 
Snow
Ok let me explain.

UK, North it snows and stays.
UK, South / South-west it snows and goes

UK, South-west, Bristol, It snows and doesn't even land. Why! Because Bristol is located in the Cumberland basin and stay's fairly warm.

Last night it snowed. WOOHOOO

It stayed. WOOOOOHOOOOO

It turned to ice over night. Ouch!

It strikes me that when they are out salting the roads they should salt the pavements aswell.
just a thought.
- posted by J @ 13:39

 
NEWS
As you can see the site has had a bit of a face lift (I was bored) pretty aint it.

Todays headlines are:
YOUR SPOUSE COULD BE A SPACE ALIEN
BUSH READIES FOR WAR WITH CHINA
AND THE MOON

Fun Sites:
Bush yoga.

My Porn name:
Brick Coxx
Doctor Phukzalot

My Taxi driver name:
If anyone can pronounce it, you will be called:
Fgenghirankownka Schneider

My Pet name:
Aardvaark Baby

Usage: "Awww, did my little Aardvaark Baby have a rough day at work?"

My Pirate name:
"Chocolate" Hubert Dagger

My Gangsta name:
Chewy tha Gangsta

Thats the whole set i think.

And that is the news for today.
- posted by J @ 11:01

 
FISH..
*Rasberry to rob

JEREMY Oscar Agility 3 | Strength 6 | Stamina 9 Battle Rating 18 Origins JEREMY was purchased at a national chain Pet Super-Store Can your fishy beat JEREMY ?

- posted by J @ 18:48

 
Update...
I am whole again i have comments.
- posted by J @ 18:02

 
Weekly wanglings
What a week.
It is officialy the 5th day since i quit smoking and not a puff has passed my lips (its hell).
We have the touring show from hell in at work.
My comments thingie seems to have decided to stop working (wating for reason)
And my new template isnt working out.

I give up im going to start this day again.

J

- posted by J @ 12:31

 
BIG Q answered
We have a two winners of this weeks Big question and they are Edmund and Brian

BIG CONGRATS

The answers were

Q1. What is the maximum number of times you can fold a piece of paper?
A. In half it is 7 times any other way depends on the paper.
Winner. Infinity assuming an idealised uclidian plane OR depends on the
paper - I suppose once the distanse between folds approches the size domain of
the paper's thicknes then folding becomes a tad dificult. (because it made my head hurt)

Q2. What kills more people a year than plane crashes?
A.Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes. (Apparently)
Winner. Burger King. (Disclamer: the owner of this site in no way thinks burger king kills people and this is mearly a opinion. Please dont hurt me.)

Well done to you both i will and your samples to the site.

THIS WEEKS QUESTIONS...

Q1. How much did American Airlines save in 1987 by eliminating 1 olive from each salad served in first-class?
Q2. What are the three most valuable brand names (In Any order)?

10 samples for each

Have fun
- posted by J @ 17:56

 
Update...
All I can say so far about quitting smoking is in the words of a great cartoon character: Ahhrarrrarrareereerarrraaaaahhahhahhaa *rasberry.

One soil sample to the person who is anal enough to know the cartoon character?
- posted by J @ 12:45

 
If music be the food of love.......
This idea was borrowed from Brian and Sophia

The Rules are:
1. Open your Winamp or other MP3 player.
2. Put all of your music on random.
3. Write down the first 10 songs it plays, no matter how embarrassing

NO CHEATING.

Here's mine:
All along the watchtower - Jimi hendrix
nick of time - AC/DC
Back in black - AC/DC
April fool - Soul asylum
Jump around - House of pain
I belive in a thing called love - The darkness
Scooby snacks - Fun lovin criminals
Honky tonk woman - Rolling stones
Under the thumb - Rolling stones
Clint eastwood - Gorillaz
- posted by J @ 12:33

 
Quitting smoking cont 2
Ok folks just a quick update.

Tonight is the night. A final fag later before bed and then the quitting begins, as of tomorrow my body will be a smoke free zone (I hope).
Thanks for the votes of confidence by the way.

J
- posted by J @ 18:13

 
More cheese...
Its that time! Chedder X

1. What was your last good deed for a stranger?
Donations really. I live in a city where you get hassled 20 - 30 times a day for money, fags etc. So you become a little defensive but I'm the sort of person who helps lost people, grannies with road crossing etc.
2. Describe the last relationship that ended badly or with regrets.
To long ago been in my current relationship 10 years.
3. Do you love or hate your job? Why?
Love it. Theatre is easy and I get paid.
4. What was the strangest place you've lived?
UK. It's a strange place in general.
5. What blogs do you occasionally read just because you have no idea why anyone would have any interest in reading them?
None most seem to carry some interest and point of view.
6. Have you engaged in comment wars before? On your blog or on someone else's? What was the war about?
No.
7. Do you ban IP's and commenters? Who and why?
No most change anyway.
8. What is the first thing you notice about someone when you first meet them?
There eyes. Tells you a lot about a person.
9. Have you already made up your mind about the next Presidential Election?
Yes. I don't care. Hopefully bush will go but he will probably just fix it again.
- posted by J @ 11:45

 
Update..
Was just running my last post through the spell checker and Jordan came up as Joyrider which i thought was fitting.
- posted by J @ 13:56

 
Quitting smoking cont.
Well its not happening
I'm down to one a day and that's about as low as I get before my head starts to implode or I start to eat my own body weight in saturated fat, which is great but not what I want to be doing.

I have set myself a deadline of this Friday to break it down. I am working all weekend so should have lots to keep me busy but I need lots of encouragement (and food).

I also have to say that the slogans on packets of fags are no deterrent I'm afraid and I don't think the pics will be either. Unfortunately these things fast become collectors items and quickly loose the impact they were intended to have. Its like the Jordans breasts senario every ones seen them so they no longer have an impact.

Anyway lots of encouragement please and hopefully I will kick it.

See you on the flip side.
J
- posted by J @ 13:53

 
BIG Q answered
We have a winner of this weeks Big question and that is Sophie.

BIG CONGRATS.

The answers were

Q1.What the hell is nutrileum? (not loreal's description)
A. I have no idea and neither do they.
Winning answer. a word that you gleefully made up while tapping your fingers together in an evil manner *muahaha* so you could read peoples' futile attempts at defining it and giggle at them in a high-pitched cackle.

Q2. How far do Dentists recommend that a toothbrush should be kept away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.
A. 6ft (which is a little scary)
Winning answer. 2.794/3 dentists recommend it. Not a pretty sight. Look away

well done Sophie you earn yourself 100 soil samples.

Todays BIG QUESTION IS

Q1. What is the maximum number of times you can fold a piece of paper?
Q2. What kills more people a year than plane crashes?

10 samples for each Q can be earned.

Have fun.
- posted by J @ 12:36

 
Blog points
Just an update Blog points will soon be changing to Soil Samples and there will be prizes to be won.
- posted by J @ 11:33

 
Fun questions
Thanks to Cheddarx for a lovely welcome I thought I would start by answering the questions.

1. Who's your daddy?
I don't like this question, I find the whole "Who's your daddy?" thing a little creepy.
2. What's your orientation?
upright at the moment. (straight)
3. What's your favorite sexual position?
I go with the woman on top. Its a breast thing
4. How do you feel about porn?
Great.
5. How do you feel about same sex porn?
Depends on the sex.
6. About how often do you engage in sexual relations?
As often as poss.
7. How often do you masturbate?
See above.
8. Do you have toys?
Lets see an n64, a rubicks cube ....Oh you mean......Yes
9. What was your most intense sexual experience?
Being given a BJ on a British rail train. In the passenger compartment.
10. How important is sex to maintaining the bond between you and your partner?
Not the most important thing.
11. Have you ever engaged in same sex activities?
In the art of experimentation.
12. Have you ever considered "swinging"?
No
13. What is your earliest sexual memory?
Probably the whole doctors and nurses thing.
14. Have you ever paid for sex? (interpret that however you like)
No
15. Are you more aroused by visual, auditory or sensate (touch) stimulation?
vis, touch, audio.
16. How long have you gone without sex with another person?
2 months
17. How long have you gone without sex period?
See above.
18. Do you have to have an emotional connection before having sex with someone? How has that changed as you've grown up?
No, Sex is sex. Making love is a whole different thing.
- posted by J @ 11:30

 
Quitting smoking
All I can say is ahhrgggrhhhaahhhaaaaaaaaaaa

to anyone who has never smoked the difficulty of quitting can never
be explained and while trying to while away a little time at work before
the show I had a trawl around the internet to see if I could find any help.

Weellll seems to be a lot of it out there, this would certainly help.
But not really what I was looking for and then I found this little gem
Pure truth from the company that bought you Marlborough, B&H, players etc. The truth of the ages:
"It can be difficult to quit smoking, and many smokers who try to quit do not succeed.
However, millions of smokers in the United States and around the world have succeeded."

Which in my nicotine withdrawn mind strikes me as funny. That really was a "Oh if we have to" added line.

however after 30mins of fruitless searching and finding lots of ways to spend money on so called miracle products,
I give up.

Fuck it going cold turkey is the best way, but not today...
- posted by J @ 18:54

 
THE BIG QUESTION...
As i said before blogg points can be earned by answering the big question.

As it is the first time i thought i would give you two questions at 50 points each.

Q1. What the hell is nutrileum? (not loreal's discription)
Q2. How far do Dentists recommend that a toothbrush should be kept away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.

Remember your answers dont have to be the correct ones if no one gets it right i will award points to the funniest, strangest etc.

At the end of the year i will award a prize to the person with the most points.

J
- posted by J @ 23:36

 
ADVERTS PAH
I was going to start with a rant but i think i will let these people do it for me.
Second class, Packetslut, Neave rant, Be Arsed, Bill hicks and Piston heads

Whats it all about folks Boswelox, nutrileum. Have we reached a point where we have to make up words just to sell stuff that doesnt work.
The best discripton i can find for Boswelox is this one "A hideously shaped cow alleged to have arrived from another planet."

The world has gone mad.

See what Care Bear you are.

- posted by J @ 23:27

 
World of soil
World of soil news

My site is going to be going through a few changes in the next couple of months so stay awake.
Also I am going to introduce a similar system to rob of blog points.

These will be awarded for.

Best website directed to (double points if I add it to my website).
Bloggs that make me laugh, cry or move me.
Best answer to the BIG QUESTION which I will be posting every Sunday (it doesn't have to be the right answer).
And some other criteria I aint thought of yet.

All answers, directs etc email to me Powerlines2000@hotmail.com
(Emails will not be replied to, nor will they be given to those fucking spam people, they will be deleted once read)

see you on the other side.
- posted by J @ 16:20

 
News
personal news.

For all those who are interested, ITS A GIRL.

Political news.

Its strikes me as odd that the leader of a country can
get away with the excuse "I didn't know"
That's the excuse you use for forgetting to do the
washing up not going to fucking war.

Geoff hoon knew about it, Robin cook new about it.
Did no one have the fucking common sense to tap Mr
blair on the shoulder and say
"you do know 45-minute claim in the Downing Street dossier referred only to battlefield weapons don't you"
(for those a little in the dark click here)

For fuck sake who are these people. I'm sorry we killed lots of innocent people, we didn't know.
I'm sorry your son isn't ever coming home we got the wrong end of the stick, never mind eh, we got some oil.

This war was about one thing, OIL and GW pulled us into it for one reason, BACKUP. So when the shit hit the fan he could parade us.

Grow up Tony Blair. If you didn't know you shouldn't be in office, if you did know you lied to your country.

Web news.

Bored surfing produced these little gems:
A fantastic Beer bottle game
and a cool shopping site



- posted by J @ 16:09

 
A day in the life of.......
My brain.

Ow ow ow, stop it!
what's that bloody noise? I didn't order a rave!
Oh yeah alarm clock.
Ow stop hitting me woman I know I have to get up
I just don't want to.
Got to get up, have to go to work,
Earn money buy stuff.
brain to legs, come in legs.
move you fuckers.
ah there we go.
oh oh oh cold floor cold floor.
ahhhhhh slippers.
time to open the eyes I think.
here we go.
bollocks there stuck. fuck it half ways better than
nothing.
ok stand up.
no up
UP!
Alyoop.
this isn't working I know.
squeeze bladder.
.
.
.
There we go.
woah there, not to fast don't want to get shouted at for waking her up.
Careful!
wish I hadn't squeezed the bladder now this is a little uncomfortable.
Open the door, Quietly.
ok now the stairs.
gonna have to hurry you here need the bathroom.
Owww WHAT THE FUCK THAT F***ING CAT. MISERABLE LITTLE F***ER, WHO THE F**K SLEEPS ON THE STAIRS. GONNA PUT F***ING ITCHING POWDER IN YOUR
F***ING CAT LITTER TRAY YOU S**T.
Ok calm, no damage the floor broke your fall
BASTARD CAT
Get up.
No seriously get up.
Bathroom.
Hurry.
Now.
Light.
Shit that's bright.
Oh now the fucking eyes decide to open!
Lid
LID
LIIIID.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
that's better.
Flush.
Lid down (see I can be considerate, why the
fuck she cant put it down I have no idea)
Wash hands.
With soap.
Towel.
ok breakfast.
Toast, cereal, Toast, cereal, Toast, cereal.
Cereal.
.
.
.
.
Ok do we have everything
Bowel, cereal, milk, spoon.
Ok lets go.
its a bit dark in here.
"click"
Owwww owwww
Not the main light, turn it off, turn it off, to bright.
"click"
ahh thats better side light.
Ok remote.
Remote.
Small black thing.
Hmmmmmmm
I had it there before i went to bed.
Not under the cushion.
nrggggg
not down the back.
Not underneath.
Where the hell is it.
.
.
.
Whats that...
it cant be..
Who the....
What the hell is the remote control doing in
the bath room.
i give up!

anyway TV.
What time is it.
7.30
lets see whats on
Ch1 Cartoons
Ch2 Uknown
Ch3 Cartoons
Ch4 Cartoons
Ch5 who cares.

Awful lot of cartoons on this morning.

"welcome to the saturday morning show"

Huh?
What was that i missed it?
No seriosly?
tell me?
Oh my god.
it cant be!
It is.

BUGGER, BUGGER, BUGGER, BUGGER, BUGGER, BUGGER, BUGGER, BUGGER, BUGGER, BUGGER, BUGGER, BUGGER, BUGGER, BUGGER, BUGGER, BUGGER, BUGGER, BUGGER.

ITS STAURDAY. I FORGOT TO TURN THE ALARM OFF.
- posted by J @ 14:06